last night i received a text that said “how do you stay so optimistic?” and i responded without much thought “i like life” and then the conversation went on to discuss how there are so many downers and often the downers outnumber the uppers.
and it’s true. i find myself in the rain more often than the sunshine. i’m pretty sure most people do. but life is about perspective.
nothing is ever going to go according to plan and if you can accept that, then you’re off to a wonderful start.
“nothing” includes but is not excluded to: the actions of others, events, your own actions
unfortunately life does not go by the script you write in your mind every night before your tired eyes close. this means that people you have written in as friends can turn out to be the very opposite. and that sucks. inversely, perfect strangers come along and you never accounted for them, and they can bring you all the joy in the world.
events also tend to never be quite what you build them up to be in your head. probably the best example of this is prom. has anyone ever had a prom that was as magical as they were led to believe it would be? does anyone even remember their proms? inversely, events that you underestimate tend to be the ones you remember most. i lazily, half assed planned some sort of birthday something last minute and had a little over 30 people come out to celebrate with me. that’s happiness.
the brain and the heart are rarely on the same page. throw in the mouth and things get whacky. i’ve played scenarios out in my head thousands of times and can’t figure out exactly where the disconnect was and how in the hell i did or said what i did. and that’s okay. we don’t always do what we plan, and sometimes its for the best. sometimes it’s for the worst. i think as long as you use these as an opportunity to not only grow, but to truly learn about your character, then it’s not really a negative at all.
so for every shitty situation, there’s the possibility of an incredible one.
often the uppers are small things that your heart can hold closest.
so here i am, 23 and keeping my head above the water.
i’m ridding the negatives from my life and basking in as much sunlight i can.
i’m now 23.
But now i’m free,
Now i’m free,
Now i’m free from all your pain.
Well you have only let me down
you have only, let me down
but my door is always open
yeah my door is always open.
Yeah i love with my heart and i hold it in my hands,
but you know, my hearts not yours.
I understand it.
And it ‘makes sense’ but aren’t we all hurt?
Don’t we all have “something”?
At what point, do you decide that you’re not going to use the master’s tools?
At what point do you say, I’ve been hurt, I refuse to inflict pain.
I refuse to send more hurt people out into the universe.
At what point do you stop the cycle?
People do it.
It can be done.
It’s not a matter of “Your blues ain’t like mine”.
We all could point to something big in our lives and say,
“This is why I’m mean.” Or “this is why I made you cry because someone made me cry once.”
That’s not ok.
I can’t excuse bad behaviour anymore.
I can’t be ok with being hurt because someone hurt you once.
No. Nobody deserves it.
You didn’t deserve to be hurt.
But I sure as hell don’t deserve to pay for the people that hurt you once upon a time."
— Paulo Coelho; (The Zahir)